Thursday, January 28, 2010

Selfish to a point

So I don't post much about me. I realize that people really come here to see cute pictures, interesting stories, and funny quips about my kids, not to really hear from me. Today, the masses hear from me. I am tired of growing. I have been growing since I had the twins, I lost a bunch of the growth within a year of their birth. Yet when I got pregnant with Adele, I grew again. This time I was too tired with 4 kids within a 3.5 year space to care about the growth that was taking place. I have since re birthed and had an epiphany moment. If I care to loose the growth, I will become me again.

So I drastically cut my calories, diligently started working out every morning, stopped snacking and stopped drinking soda. I lost about 5 lbs at the beginning and got within 10 lbs of my original weight. I has since stopped loosing weight. I have held out this 10 lbs for more than 2 weeks and am so frustrated I could eat a pizza... by myself. What is the point to try to be more healthy if the real me never comes out. I might as well eat that cookie, or drink the diet coke that my body craves. But I am holding out, that .5% chance that I will actually loose the last 10 lbs is keeping me from giving totally up.

My brother is exceptionally knowledgeable about all things healthy and he has given me some great advice. To keep exercising, to keep diligently eating well, to keep moving. I get the point but have never had this much trouble loosing weight. I realize this is shallow, I don't truly care if I am.

But really, I just don't want to be the mom that never looses the 10 lbs. I want to be the Mom that doesn't look like she is 15 anymore but she does get in shape. Round, is not a shape.... So if you have any advice or good ideas... maybe some good recipes, let me know. If this doesn't start to come off I am going to do lipo, so start sending the referrals. The mere thought of having a Dr. suck the fat off strategical places seems like a good alternative to starving and exercising. Hum- going to think on that one.

Well like I said, this post is for me. Read if you want, comment if you feel the need, sympathise with me at least. Just don't send me any more cookie recipes.


christibeth said...

Patience beautiful! Weight Watchers says that you usually lose big the first week or two, then settle into a slow (HEALTHY) weight loss of 1-2 lbs per week. It's frustrating to be sure to see it come off so dang slowly, but don't give up! Give yourself 2 months before you start thinking lipo. ;P Love ya and GOOD LUCK!

Johnston Family said...

Keep trying and don't stress! hahaha I know. It's hard but you can do it. Forget the lipo have a tummy tuck you'll feel much better.

Emily K. said...

I feel ya, sister!!! I was complaining to my husband about this very same thing tonight. I have cut major calories, work out A LOT, and still can't lose weight. It's the 30 year old curse, I just know it. I still have like 15-20 pounds to go, so, don't worry about those 10. They will come off, eventually. I see those commercials all the time about Sono Bello, and I totally want to go in, and have a procedure done. And, if we had the $$$, I would totally do it.

P.S. sorry about not calling you back. We're down to 1 car right now, until we get our tax return, and life is just very stressful. I thought 2010 was gonna be better!!

Belkycita said...

Oh Bree, you always make me smile :-)\
Keep doing what you are doing. It sounds like it will happen sooner than you expected.
and..... I don't think that you can be round.. not even when you are pregnant.
p.s. make sure you are not cutting too much in calories because it slows down the weight loss, ask WW people, it is explained by them.

Cyn said...

At least you are trying. I'm still carting around far more than I should be almost 1 year later. It really is about a lifestyle change that you can manage to live with forever. I like to give myself a day every now and then that is just 'ok' to eat/drink whatever I want. I believe it helps to jumpstart (or restart) the metabolism and will make the rest of my efforts more productive-but what do I know, I'm in a bigger boat than you.